I recently experienced a new memory from a long ago incident. It was the sudden and shocking type of recollection that requires time to process. I spent the week thinking, feeling, regressing, trying to not to analyse, feeling some more and gradually integrating this once buried wound.
During that week I was teaching healers how to support their clients by working with the wounded inner child. How perfect for me! They too experienced new memories, and, like myself, they were too young to recall it all and had no witnesses. The few days that followed had me encountering 3 others that also realised a partial disturbing memory.
Healers have always been called to make peace with themselves and their history. With their wisdom, experience and maturity they can now go even deeper. It takes courage and divine timing to be ready for aspects of trauma to come forward in a way that isn’t intellectual. Buried feelings like shame and terror need strong holding from a support person or one’s own compassionate adult self. When we are stuck in a child like memory it can be scary and ungrounding.
If you too have been triggered somehow into a past memory know this is a good thing. Your system is wanting to heal. Our nerves and tissue hold trauma, our pain and tension is usually based in unexpressed emotions from long ago.
When your higher self knows you are ready to finally process something old then memories will come. When they arrive in a way where you are feeling it physically, emotionally and energetically it can be surprising and confusing, especially when you have no recollection of the event. Don’t let your bossy mind try to analyse it, it will stop you feeling and prolong the healing. I know the wanting to understand it thing, it’s an easy default. Thinking isn’t healing though, it blocks emotions like anger, sadness and grief.
Have the courage to feel painful emotions and be patient. Despite what you think or are told you don’t need to know the whole story, regardless of how much your mind wants to understand it. Having no witnesses for past trauma can be frustrating and perplexing, yet if you are meant to know more the images and information will be come in the right time. Trust what is happening on a non intellectual level. You ARE healing.
As we release the hold on old emotions and thought patterns that no longer serve us we become more authentic, and that means a happier, easier life.
Tips for this kind of experience –
- Don’t think, feel.
- Get support if you are feeling stuck.
- Do grounding practices.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Practise self compassion
- Be patient, healing takes time.
- Remember this is not a bad thing, you are healing, it is a good thing!
Wishing you kindness
with light
Dawn
Photo by Yousef Espanioly